120 Questions to Ask Yourself to Understand Who You Really Are

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The Ultimate List of Self-Discovery Questions to Help You Get to Know Yourself

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“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

How well do you know yourself?

I mean besides your favourite food and the type of music that gets you going. Although it’s good to know these basic preferences you have—since they seem to come up every first date you go ever go on—they barely scratch the surface of who you are as a complex, fascinating human being.

Who, me? But I’m so…boring.

If that’s what you’re thinking, STOP. You’re not boring, not in the least bit!

In fact, you’re a beautiful onion.

Whaaaaat?

Wait, hear me out!

You’ve got a lot more going on underneath your skin than you can imagine. Whatever you think you know about yourself, there’s always another layer waiting for you to peel back and discover a new dimension. You just might not realize this yet.

Now doesn’t that sound like an onion?

So today, I’m sharing an epic list of my favourite questions to ask yourself—to help you peel back those layers and uncover bits about yourself that may surprise you, delight you, or give you further food for thought.

You ready to gain deep insight into the universe within?

Oh, and if you would like to have these questions handy, I created a calendar template you can download and print yourself. The calendar comes with 10 self-reflection questions each month to keep you reflecting for a whole year!

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120 Deep Questions to Ask Yourself to Find Out Who You Are

 

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Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Self Love

1. Do I believe I’m worthy of good things like love and happiness?

2. In what ways do I show love for myself?

3. Do I speak up when I feel I’m not getting what I deserve?

4. How comfortable am I with saying “no” to things or people who don’t bring me joy?

5. Do I feel guilty if I put my needs first?

6. When was the last time I felt beautiful? Smart? Or powerful?

7. If someone tells me I’m not good enough, how would I respond?

8. If someone tells me I’m amazing, how would I respond?

9. How often do I apologize, even when it’s not my fault?

10. How often do I take on other people’s problems as if they were my own?

11. When was the last time I told myself “good job”?

12. How often do I spend time and energy taking care of myself versus taking care of others?

 

Woman looking at the lake and mountains

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Happiness

13. What are the top 5 things that bring a smile to my face?

14. How do I define the meaning of “joy”?

15. How important is my own happiness?

16. When was the last time I laughed so hard my belly ached?

17. How often do I have a positive experience versus a negative experience?

18. How content am I with life in general?

19. How would I answer the question “I’ll be happy when…”?

20. What’s preventing me from being truly happy now?

21. What am I doing to increase my happiness?

22. Do I have any regrets that I can’t let go?

23. When was the last time I let myself have a good cry?

24. What does a “happy life” look like in my mind?

25. How do I bring happiness to other people’s lives?

26. Would my friends describe me as a “positive person”?

27. When was the last time I found the “silver lining” in a bad situation?

28. How do I express gratitude?

29. If I were to describe 3 things I’m grateful for right now, what would they be?

30. Do I believe I’m responsible for my own happiness? Why or why not?

 

Woman laughing

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Resilience and Mindset

31. How do I respond to a tough challenge that really tests my limit?

32. How long does it usually take for me to bounce back from failure?

33. True or false: It takes a lot to knock me down.

34. What am I more afraid of? Failure, or the regret of not trying?

35. How adaptable am I to changing circumstances and environments?

36. How often do I tell myself “I can’t”?

37. When was the last time I encountered a frustrating situation and what did I do to make it better?

38. Do I believe I have control over how I feel and the experiences I have in life?

39. When was the last time I felt really disappointed or hurt? What helped me overcome it?

40. How often do I complain?

41. When was the last time I solved a tough problem and what did I learn from it?

 

woman wearing a white t-shirt with the word resilient on it

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Purpose and Motivation

42. What are some of the things that really demotivate me?

43. What helped me regain my motivation in the past when I lost it?

44. What excites me enough to keep me focused for hours on end?

45. What fuels me more: reward or the fear of punishment?

46. What do I hope to achieve in life?

47. What am I doing on a day to day basis to progress towards my ultimate goal in life?

48. Do I think I’m doing something of value with my life? Why or why not?

49. In what ways am I contributing to the world?

50. What activities make me feel productive, engaged, and deeply content?

51. If money wasn’t an issue, would I still be in my current job? If not, what would I like to do instead?

52. When was the last time I gave up on a goal? Why did I give up?

53. Have I ever accomplished a goal only to find out it wasn’t fulfilling for me? What kind of goal was it?

54. When was the last time I accomplished a goal that made me feel good for a long time? What kind of goal was it?

55. How do I go about making difficult decisions in life?

 

man standing on top of a mountain

 

Questions to Ask Yourself for Personal Growth

56. When was the last time I did something that made me feel a little scared or uncomfortable?

57. What lessons did I learn from the last major mistake I made in my work?

58. What’s my career goal for the next 5-10 years and how does it align with my ultimate goal in life?

59. What am I doing on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis to improve myself?

60. Do I enjoy learning? If so, what am I doing to ensure that I keep learning?

61. In what ways have I grown as a person in the last year?

62. How comfortable am I with having a difficult, but necessary conversation with someone?

63. What traits of a good leader do I exhibit?

64. What traits of leadership do I need to work on?

65. What am I doing in the next 6-12 months to progress in my career?

 

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Questions to Ask Yourself About Love

66. What are the 3 most important things I look for in a relationship in my current stage in life?

67. What do I think will be the 3 most important things I look for in a relationship 10 years from now? Are they the same to the answers from the question above?

68. What am I doing to improve the quality of my relationship?

69. Do I value being in a committed, loving relationship? If so, how do I show it?

70. Am I willing to make compromises in a relationship? If so, what kind of compromises?

71. How do I maintain my independence and sense of “self” in a relationship?

72. When I picture the kind of life I want to live with my partner, what does that look like?

73. How important is marriage for me, and why?

74. How would I respond if a partner hurt me deeply but is showing remorse?

75. What are the “dealbreakers” in a relationship for me?

76. What impact did my parents’ relationship have on my view of relationship and marriage?

77. What skills do I think I need in order to have a successful relationship?

78. What qualities do I value the most in a partner, and why are they important?

79. What are the top 3 lessons I learned from my past relationships?

80. What’s my primary love language?

81. How well do I communicate my needs in a relationship?

82. What’s my fighting style and how does that impact my relationship?

 

a couple making love sign with hands

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Family

83. How important is family to me and how do I show it?

84. Why do I want (or don’t want) to have children?

85. What’s my way of showing love for my family?

86. Does my way of showing love align with how my family would like me to show love for them?

87. How satisfied am I with the relationships that I have with members of my family?

88. How do I usually go about resolving conflicts between myself and family members? How effective is my approach?

89. How do I show support for family members even if I don’t agree with them?

90. How do I feel about being a stay-at-home parent?

91. Do I get enough appreciation from my family?

92. How comfortable am I talking to my family about my feelings?

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Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Friendship

93. Do I have these qualities of a good friend and in what ways do I exhibit these traits?

94. Why are friendships important to me and how do I show it?

95. What do I prefer: socializing with a large group of friends or talk one on one?

96. Do I bring positivity into my friendships? If so, how?

97. What are the 3 most important qualities I look for in a friend?

98. Do I have any unfulfilling friendships that are draining my energy and happiness?

99. What are my boundaries in a friendship?

100. How much time do I spend talking versus listening in my friendships?

101. How do I show appreciation for my friends?

102. How accepting am I of my friends’ opinions and beliefs?

103. What does “having a good time with friends” look like for me?

 

Two women walking on railway

 

Questions to Ask Yourself Related to Health

104. How important is my health to me and why?

105. What’s the biggest obstacle standing between me and a health goal?

106. What does my diet look like and how does it make me feel? (i.e. good, guilty, energetic, lethargic, etc.)

107. How do I take care of my body?

108. How much control do I believe I have over my own health?

109. What am I doing to reduce and prevent stress?

110. How much sleep am I getting every night and what am I doing to improve the quality of my sleep?

111. Am I getting enough exercise despite my busy schedule?

112. What are 3 healthy habits I like to develop in the next 12 months?

 

woman doing yoga on the beach

 

Fun Questions to Ask Yourself to Discover Who You Are

113. If I was a Marvel superhero, who would I be and why?

114. Who’s my celebrity crush and what do I admire about them?

115. What words do I use the most often and how do they reflect me as a person?

116. What’s one secret I wouldn’t tell anybody and why?

117. What was my favourite TV show growing up and what impact did it have on me?

118. Who am I most jealous of and why?

119. What compliment do I like to hear the most?

120. If the apocalypse fell upon the world tomorrow, how long do I think I’d last?

 

Did you learn something new about yourself? Which one of these questions gave you the most food for thought? Do you have any other ideas for personal growth questions or great questions to ask yourself in general? Let me know via the comments below!

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Recommended Articles in Personal Growth and Self Discovery:

7 Valuable Life Lessons I Learned from My Mother

The Keys to Controlling Your Anger 

Want to Feel More Confident? You Need to Do This More Often (Plus Inspirational Quotes to Give You a Little Push)

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11 thoughts on “120 Questions to Ask Yourself to Understand Who You Really Are”

  1. I salute you for this 🙂 I can see the work behind it 😉 Keep up the good work and thanks for letting me discover myself more, I mean these questions have seriously got me thinking 🙂

    Reply
    • Thank you Ilyass, so happy to hear that these questions are leading you on a path of deeper self-discovery! I encourage you to share this post with anyone you think may find it helpful. Yes I indeed put a lot of work in coming up with these questions, thank you for noticing!

      Cheers,
      Sabrina

      Reply
    • Thank you Sourabh, happy to hear you liked these questions! If you haven’t already, don’t forget to download the Monthly Reflections Calendar Template. You get these questions in a calendar format that you can use every month for self-reflection.

      Cheers,
      Sabrina

      Reply

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